Dementia and Internal Locus: Essence Beyond Memory

BY NICOLE LAU

The Psychology of Internal Locus: Why Most Suffering is Optional - Module 4: Adult Internal Locus Development (18+) - Part III: Later Life Period (50+)

You're experiencing dementia. Memory fading. Cognition declining. Or you're caring for someone with dementia. And you feel like they're worthless because they're losing memory. Like they're gone. Like they're not themselves anymore. Like worth depends on memory and cognition.

This is external locus in dementia. Worth depends on memory. Cognitive = valuable. Dementia = worthless. You're measuring worth against cognitive standards. You're losing the person.

But here's the truth: Essence remains beyond memory. Worth isn't cognition. The person is still there. Love continues. This is internal locus in dementia. This is Light Path in cognitive decline - you're attracted to connecting with essence, not only mourning lost cognition. You celebrate moments of presence, not only grieve absence. You embody worth beyond memory.

The External Locus Dementia Pattern

Worth Tied to Memory: You're worthy when you remember. Dementia = gone = worthless. Value depends on cognition. This is external locus creating loss of person.

They're Gone: The person is gone. They're not themselves. They're lost. This is external locus creating grief without presence.

Shame About Dementia: You're ashamed of dementia. You hide it. You pretend it's not happening. This is external locus creating isolation.

Only Loss: Dementia is only loss. Only decline. Nothing else. This is external locus creating despair.

Waiting for Death: You're just waiting for them to die. Or for yourself to die. This is external locus creating stagnation.

The Internal Locus Alternative

Worth Independent of Memory: You're valuable whether you remember or not. Worth isn't cognition. This is internal locus foundation.

Essence Remains: The person is still there. Essence remains. They're not gone. This is internal locus in truth.

No Shame: Dementia happens. Not shameful. This is illness. This is human. This is internal locus in acceptance.

Moments of Connection: There are moments. Of presence. Of connection. Of them. This is internal locus in presence.

Living Now: Life is now. With dementia. You're living. Connecting. Not waiting. This is internal locus in vitality.

Light Path in Dementia

The Light Path transforms dementia from only loss (Darkness Path) to connecting with essence (Light Path):

Connecting with Essence: You're attracted to connecting with essence (Light Path). Who they are beyond memory. Present moment connection. Not only mourning lost cognition (Darkness Path). This is Light Path - attraction to what remains, not only what's lost.

Celebrating Moments of Presence: You celebrate moments of presence (Light Path). When they're there. When you connect. Not only grieving absence (Darkness Path). This is Light Path - celebration of what is.

Joy Holds Grief: You can grieve cognitive loss AND find moments of joy. Joy holds grief. You don't deny dementia is devastating. You hold it in larger container of love and connection. Light as container - your capacity for joy isn't destroyed by dementia.

Embodied Worth Beyond Memory: You feel in your body that they're valuable. That you're valuable. Memory doesn't determine worth. You embody inherent worth. This is Light Path - expansion of worth beyond cognition.

Love Continues: Love continues. Beyond memory. Beyond cognition. This is Light Path - love as essence, not memory.

Building Internal Locus in Dementia

1. Separate Worth from Memory: Practice: "Worth isn't memory. They're valuable. I'm valuable. Essence remains."

2. Connect with Essence: Connect with who they are. Beyond memory. Present moment. This is Light Path - essence connection.

3. Cherish Moments: Cherish moments of presence. Of connection. These are precious. This is Light Path - celebration of what is.

4. Love in Present: Love them now. As they are. Not who they were. This is Light Path - present love.

5. Accept Reality: Dementia is real. Accept it. Grieve it. AND connect. This is Light Path - acceptance and connection.

6. Hold Grief in Love: You grieve. AND you love. Love holds grief. Both are real. This is Light Path - the container.

7. Embody Worth: Feel worth in your body. Theirs. Yours. Memory doesn't determine this. Embody inherent worth. This is Light Path embodiment.

Common Dementia Challenges

Memory Loss: Internal locus response: "They're losing memory. Essence remains. I connect with who they are now. Light Path - I cherish moments of presence."

They're Gone Fear: Internal locus response: "I fear they're gone. They're still here. Essence remains. I connect in present moment. Light Path - I see them."

Dementia Shame: Internal locus response: "I'm ashamed of dementia. This is illness. Not shameful. They're valuable. Light Path - I accept with love."

Only Loss: Internal locus response: "I see only loss. There are also moments. Of presence. Of connection. Light Path - I cherish what is."

Moments of Connection: Internal locus response: "We had moment of connection. This is precious. They're still here. Light Path - I celebrate these moments."

Essence Beyond Memory

Essence Remains: Beyond memory. Beyond cognition. The person is still there. This is truth.

Worth Isn't Memory: They're valuable. You're valuable. Memory doesn't determine worth. This is Light Path.

Connect in Present: Connect now. As they are. Present moment. This is Light Path - presence.

Love Continues: Beyond memory. Beyond cognition. Love continues. This is Light Path - eternal love.

Cherish Moments: Moments of presence. Of connection. These are precious. This is Light Path - celebration of what is.

Essence Beyond Memory

This is the message for dementia: Essence remains beyond memory. Worth isn't cognition. The person is still there. Love continues.

This is Light Path in dementia - you're attracted to connecting with essence. You celebrate moments of presence. Joy holds grief. You embody worth beyond memory. Love continues.

Connect with essence. Cherish moments. Love in present. Accept reality. Hold grief in love. Embody worth.

This is dementia with internal locus. This is Light Path in cognitive decline. This is essence beyond memory.