How Long Does Dark Night of the Soul Last?

BY NICOLE LAU

Short Answer

The dark night of the soul typically lasts 6 months to 3 years, though some experience it for longer. It's a profound spiritual crisis where old identity dissolves before new understanding emerges. Duration depends on ego resistance, support systems, and willingness to surrender. It ends when you stop fighting it and allow the transformation. This is a necessary stage of spiritual awakening, not a mental illness—though professional support can help.

The Long Answer

What the Dark Night of the Soul Is

The dark night is:

• Ego death and dissolution of old identity
• Loss of meaning, purpose, and direction
• Feeling abandoned by God/universe/higher self
• Profound emptiness and existential crisis
• Death of who you were before awakening
• Necessary transformation, not punishment

It's named after St. John of the Cross's poem describing spiritual purification.

Typical Duration

Short dark night (6-12 months):

• Intense but relatively brief
• Clear beginning and end
• Strong support system
• Less ego resistance
• Previous spiritual practice

Standard dark night (1-2 years):

• Most common duration
• Waves of intensity
• Gradual emergence
• Moderate resistance and support

Extended dark night (2-3 years):

• Deeper transformation required
• More layers to shed
• Significant life restructuring
• Complex trauma or conditioning

Prolonged dark night (3+ years):

• Rare but possible
• Very deep ego structures dissolving
• Multiple layers of awakening
• May include undiagnosed mental health issues
• Seek professional support

Stages of the Dark Night

Stage 1: Descent (Months 1-6)

• Everything falls apart
• Loss of meaning and purpose
• Relationships, career, beliefs crumble
• Feeling lost and abandoned
• Intense suffering

Stage 2: The Void (Months 6-18)

• Profound emptiness
• Nothing makes sense
• Can't go back, can't move forward
• Numbness or intense pain
• Feeling like you're dying (you are—the ego is)

Stage 3: Surrender (Months 12-24)

• Giving up the fight
• Accepting the unknown
• Letting go of control
• First glimmers of peace
• Trusting the process

Stage 4: Emergence (Months 18-36)

• Light begins to return
• New understanding dawns
• Rebuilding with new awareness
• Integration begins
• Hope returns

Factors That Affect Duration

Ego resistance: Fighting the process extends it. Surrender shortens it.

Support system: Community and guidance help you navigate faster.

Spiritual practice: Meditation, prayer, or practice provides anchor.

Trauma history: Unhealed trauma complicates and extends the process.

Life circumstances: Stable life = easier navigation. Chaos = longer duration.

Willingness to change: Clinging to old identity prolongs suffering.

Professional support: Therapy or spiritual direction can help.

Signs You're in the Dark Night

• Nothing brings joy or meaning anymore
• Feeling abandoned by God/universe
• Old beliefs and identity dissolving
• Profound loneliness and isolation
• Questioning everything
• Can't connect to spiritual practice
• Feeling like you're dying inside
• Loss of purpose and direction
• Relationships falling away
• Career or life path no longer fits

Dark Night vs. Depression

Dark night of the soul:

• Spiritual crisis and transformation
• Ego death, not brain chemistry
• Leads to awakening and growth
• Meaning is lost but will return transformed
• Part of spiritual evolution

Clinical depression:

• Mental health condition
• Chemical imbalance or trauma response
• Requires professional treatment
• Not necessarily spiritual
• Can coexist with dark night

Important: You can have both. Seek professional help if you're suicidal, can't function, or symptoms are severe.

What Helps Shorten the Dark Night

Surrender: Stop fighting. Accept what is.

Let go: Release attachment to old identity, beliefs, and life.

Trust the process: Believe this is transformation, not destruction.

Seek support: Find others who understand (spiritual community, therapist).

Maintain practice: Even if it feels empty, keep meditating/praying.

Be gentle: Self-compassion, not self-judgment.

Allow grief: Mourn what's dying. It's okay to grieve.

What Prolongs the Dark Night

Resistance: Fighting the process keeps you stuck.

Clinging: Trying to hold onto old identity or life.

Isolation: Refusing support or community.

Substances: Using drugs or alcohol to numb the pain.

Spiritual bypassing: Trying to "love and light" your way out.

Forcing it to end: Demanding it be over before it's complete.

Navigating the Dark Night

Accept you can't control it: Surrender to the process.

Find meaning in the meaninglessness: This void is sacred.

Connect with others in the dark night: You're not alone.

Journal: Write about the experience, even if it's just pain.

Rest: This is exhausting. Sleep, nourish, be gentle.

Trust it will end: It always does. Always.

Seek professional help if needed: Therapy, spiritual direction, or both.

Signs the Dark Night Is Ending

• Moments of peace or clarity
• Glimmers of hope or meaning
• Feeling lighter, even briefly
• New understanding emerging
• Acceptance of what is
• Curiosity about what's next
• Energy returning
• Desire to engage with life again

The end is gradual, not sudden. Light returns slowly.

After the Dark Night

When it ends, you'll:

• Have a new sense of self
• See life differently
• Feel more authentic
• Have deeper compassion
• Understand suffering differently
• Be more grounded in truth
• Have integrated the transformation

You won't be who you were. That person died. And that's okay.

Multiple Dark Nights

You may experience more than one dark night in your lifetime:

• Each awakening can include a dark night
• Deeper layers require deeper dissolution
• Later dark nights are often shorter (you know the process)
• Each transforms you further

When to Seek Professional Help

Get help immediately if:

• You're suicidal or self-harming
• You can't function in daily life for extended periods
• You're experiencing psychosis
• You're using substances heavily to cope
• You're completely isolated for months
• Physical health is deteriorating

Dark night is spiritual, but you still need support. Therapy and spirituality can coexist.

Resources and Support

Books: "Dark Night of the Soul" by St. John of the Cross, "The Dark Night of the Soul" by Gerald May

Therapy: Find a therapist who understands spiritual crisis

Spiritual direction: Work with someone experienced in dark night

Community: Online or in-person groups for spiritual awakening

Crisis support: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US) if you're in danger

Final Thoughts

The dark night of the soul is one of the most challenging experiences in spiritual awakening. It typically lasts 6 months to 3 years, but your timeline is unique.

This is not punishment. It's transformation. The old you is dying so the true you can emerge. It's painful, but it's sacred.

It will end. The light will return. You will emerge transformed. Trust the process, seek support, and be gentle with yourself.

The night is darkest before the dawn. Your dawn is coming.