Celebrating Existence: Joy in Baby's Presence

BY NICOLE LAU

Childhood Internal Locus Building: Ages 0-12

Your joy in your baby's existence - not their achievements, not their milestones, but simply their being - teaches them they're inherently delightful. When you celebrate their presence, delight in who they are, and express wonder at their existence, you teach them they're valuable simply for being alive. This is the heart of internal locus: worth that doesn't depend on doing, achieving, or performing. Worth that comes from being.

Celebrating Being vs Celebrating Doing

Celebrating Being: Joy in baby's existence. Delight in their presence. Wonder at who they are. This joy is constant - it doesn't depend on what baby does.

Celebrating Doing: Joy only in achievements. Excitement about milestones. Pride in performance. This joy is conditional - it depends on what baby accomplishes.

Why It Matters: Celebrating being creates internal locus ("I'm inherently delightful"). Celebrating only doing creates external locus ("I'm only valuable when I achieve").

What Celebrating Existence Looks Like

1. Delight in Presence

What It Means: Being genuinely happy that baby exists. Enjoying their company. Delighting in being with them.

How to Show:

- Smile when you see baby

- Say "I'm so happy you're here"

- Express joy in their presence

- Enjoy just being together

Teaches: "I'm delightful simply by existing. My presence brings joy."

2. Wonder at Who They Are

What It Means: Being amazed by baby's unique self. Appreciating their temperament, personality, quirks.

How to Show:

- "You're amazing"

- "I love who you are"

- Appreciate their uniqueness

- Delight in their individuality

Teaches: "I'm wonderful as I uniquely am. I don't have to be someone else."

3. Joy Without Reason

What It Means: Being joyful with baby without needing a reason. Not just when they do something cute or achieve something.

How to Show:

- Laugh together for no reason

- Play joyfully

- Express happiness just being together

- Celebrate ordinary moments

Teaches: "Joy is my birthright. I don't have to earn it through achievement."

4. Celebrating Ordinary Moments

What It Means: Finding joy in everyday moments. Not just special occasions or milestones.

How to Show:

- Delight in feeding time

- Enjoy bath time together

- Celebrate waking up together

- Find joy in daily routines

Teaches: "Every moment with me is valuable. I don't have to do something special to be celebrated."

5. Expressing Gratitude for Their Existence

What It Means: Being grateful that baby exists. Expressing thankfulness for their life.

How to Show:

- "I'm so grateful you're here"

- "You're such a gift"

- "Thank you for being you"

- Express appreciation for their existence

Teaches: "My existence is a gift. I'm valuable simply for being alive."

What NOT to Do (Celebrating Only Doing)

Joy Only for Achievements: Being excited only when baby reaches milestones. Teaches: "I'm only valuable when I achieve."

Conditional Delight: Delighting in baby only when they're being "good" or doing something impressive. Teaches: "I have to perform to be delightful."

Comparison: "You're so much better than [other baby]!" Teaches: "My worth depends on being better than others."

Performance Pressure: Pushing baby to achieve so you can celebrate. Teaches: "I exist to achieve for others' joy."

Practical Daily Celebration

Morning:

- Greet baby with joy: "Good morning! I'm so happy to see you!"

- Delight in their presence

- Celebrate the new day together

Throughout Day:

- Express joy in being together

- Smile at baby often

- Laugh together

- Enjoy ordinary moments

Feeding:

- Make it joyful connection time

- Not just functional task

- Delight in being together

Play:

- Celebrate the joy of play itself

- Not just developmental milestones

- Enjoy being together

Bedtime:

- "I loved being with you today"

- "You're such a gift"

- Express gratitude for their existence

When Milestones Happen

It's natural to be excited about milestones! The key is balance:

Do Celebrate: "You rolled over! That's exciting!"

But Also Say: "And I love you whether you roll over or not. You're amazing just as you are."

Celebrate the Achievement: But make it clear their worth doesn't depend on it.

Keep Celebrating Being: Don't let milestone celebration overshadow everyday celebration of existence.

The Bottom Line

Celebrate your baby's existence. Delight in their presence. Express joy in who they are, not just what they do. Your joy in their being teaches them they're inherently delightful, valuable simply for existing. This is internal locus. This is the gift of unconditional celebration. They don't have to achieve to be worthy of your joy. They're worthy simply because they are.

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Next: Avoiding Conditional Approval - No "Good Baby" vs "Bad Baby"

Childhood Internal Locus Building series: Practical guidance for raising children with inherent worth.

— Nicole Lau, 2026