Cord Cutting: When and How to Sever Energetic Ties

By NICOLE LAU

Introduction: The Invisible Threads That Bind Us

We are all connected to the people in our lives through invisible energetic cords—threads of energy that link us to family, friends, lovers, and even casual acquaintances. Some of these connections are healthy and nourishing. Others are draining, toxic, or simply no longer serving us.

Cord cutting is the practice of intentionally severing these energetic ties, freeing yourself from unhealthy attachments while preserving your own energy and autonomy.

This guide explores what energetic cords are, when and why to cut them, various techniques for cord cutting, what happens after, and how to maintain healthy boundaries to prevent unwanted reconnection.

What Are Energetic Cords?

Definition

Energetic cords (also called psychic cords or etheric cords) are invisible connections of energy that form between people through interaction, relationship, and emotional exchange.

How Cords Form

Cords develop naturally through:

• Intimate relationships: Romantic partners, family members, close friends
• Emotional intensity: Strong feelings create stronger cords
• Repeated interaction: Frequent contact strengthens connections
• Trauma bonding: Abuse or intense experiences create particularly strong cords
• Sexual intimacy: Creates powerful energetic bonds
• Caregiving: Parent-child, healer-client relationships

Where Cords Attach

Cords typically connect through chakra points:

• Root chakra: Survival, family, tribal connections
• Sacral chakra: Sexual connections, creative partnerships
• Solar plexus: Power dynamics, control, manipulation
• Heart chakra: Love, emotional bonds, compassion
• Throat chakra: Communication, expression
• Third eye: Psychic connections, mental bonds
• Crown chakra: Spiritual connections (rare in human relationships)

Types of Cords

Healthy Cords

• Allow mutual energy exchange
• Feel nourishing and balanced
• Support both people's growth
• Can be released and reformed naturally
• Don't create dependency or drain

Unhealthy Cords

• One-sided energy drain
• Feel heavy, sticky, or constrictive
• Create dependency or obsession
• Prevent moving on or healing
• Maintain toxic dynamics even after physical separation

Signs You Have Unhealthy Cords

Emotional Signs

• Can't stop thinking about someone even when you want to
• Feel their emotions as if they're your own
• Experience sudden mood shifts that don't seem to be yours
• Feel drained after thinking about or interacting with someone
• Can't move on from a relationship that's ended
• Feel controlled or manipulated even at a distance
• Experience obsessive thoughts about someone

Physical Signs

• Unexplained fatigue or energy depletion
• Physical sensations in chakra areas (tightness, pulling, heaviness)
• Feeling physically ill when thinking about someone
• Tension or pain in specific body areas connected to the person

Behavioral Signs

• Checking their social media compulsively
• Unable to establish boundaries with the person
• Repeating unhealthy relationship patterns
• Feeling unable to make decisions without considering their reaction
• Sacrificing your own needs to maintain the connection

Energetic Signs

• Sensing their presence even when they're not physically there
• Knowing when they're thinking about you
• Feeling pulled toward them against your will
• Experiencing their energy in your space

When to Cut Cords

Appropriate Situations

1. After Ending a Romantic Relationship

• Especially important after breakups
• Helps both people move on
• Prevents energetic entanglement from interfering with healing
• Allows for clean closure

2. Toxic or Abusive Relationships

• Essential for healing from abuse
• Prevents continued energetic manipulation
• Supports establishing boundaries
• Helps reclaim your power

3. Codependent Relationships

• Breaks unhealthy dependency patterns
• Supports individuation and autonomy
• Allows both people to develop independently

4. Energy Vampires

• People who consistently drain your energy
• One-sided relationships where you give but don't receive
• Helps protect your energy reserves

5. Deceased Loved Ones

• When grief is preventing you from moving forward
• When you feel haunted or unable to let go
• Doesn't mean you stop loving them—just releases unhealthy attachment

6. Past Versions of Yourself

• Cutting cords to old identities or traumas
• Releasing attachment to who you used to be
• Supporting transformation and growth

When NOT to Cut Cords

1. Healthy, Ongoing Relationships

• Don't cut cords with people you want to maintain connection with
• Healthy relationships have healthy cords that don't need cutting
• Cutting cords with current partners can damage the relationship

2. Parent-Child Bonds (Usually)

• The parent-child cord is natural and usually shouldn't be completely severed
• Exception: Abusive or extremely toxic parent-child relationships
• Consider cord cleaning or boundary-setting instead of cutting

3. As Punishment or Manipulation

• Don't cut cords to hurt someone or make them miss you
• Cord cutting is for your healing, not to control others
• It's not a weapon or manipulation tactic

4. Impulsively During Arguments

• Don't cut cords in anger or during temporary conflicts
• Wait until you're calm and certain
• Cord cutting should be a deliberate, considered choice

Cord Cutting Techniques

1. Visualization Cord Cutting

Method:

1. Find a quiet space and ground yourself
2. Close your eyes and visualize the person
3. See the energetic cords connecting you (often from chakras)
4. Visualize scissors, a sword, or Archangel Michael's sword
5. Cut each cord with intention and authority
6. See the cords dissolving or retracting
7. Seal your chakras with light or protective energy
8. Thank the person for lessons learned and release them

Variation: Some practitioners visualize the cords being gently untied rather than cut

2. Candle Cord Cutting

Materials: Two candles (one for you, one for them), string or thread, fireproof dish

Method:

1. Tie the two candles together with string
2. Light both candles
3. State your intention to release the connection
4. As the candles burn, the string will burn through and separate
5. When the string breaks, the cords are cut
6. Let candles burn completely (in safe container)
7. Dispose of remains away from your home

3. Ritual Bath Cord Cutting

Materials: Bath, salt, herbs (rosemary, lavender, hyssop), white or black candles

Method:

1. Prepare ritual bath with salt and cleansing herbs
2. Light candles around the bath
3. Enter the water with intention to release cords
4. Visualize cords dissolving in the water
5. Submerge yourself completely if possible
6. Emerge renewed and cord-free
7. Drain the water, visualizing cords going down the drain

4. Archangel Michael Invocation

Method:

1. Call upon Archangel Michael (associated with cord cutting)
2. Ask him to cut all cords that don't serve your highest good
3. Visualize him using his sword to sever connections
4. Thank him for his assistance
5. Feel the release and freedom

Prayer example: "Archangel Michael, please cut all cords of attachment that no longer serve me. Release me from unhealthy bonds and protect my energy. Thank you."

5. Physical Cord Cutting Ritual

Materials: String or yarn, scissors, two objects to represent you and the other person

Method:

1. Tie string between the two objects
2. Hold the objects and feel the connection
3. State your intention to release
4. Cut the string with scissors
5. Bury, burn, or dispose of the other person's object
6. Cleanse your object and keep or release it

6. Meditation and Breathwork

Method:

1. Enter meditative state
2. Scan your body for cord attachment points
3. Breathe into each attachment point
4. On exhale, visualize cords releasing and dissolving
5. Continue until you feel clear and free
6. Seal your energy field with protective light

7. Professional Energy Healing

• Reiki practitioners, energy healers, or shamanic practitioners can assist
• Helpful for particularly stubborn or traumatic cords
• Provides support and guidance through the process

What Happens After Cord Cutting

Immediate Effects

• Relief: Feeling lighter, freer, more yourself
• Clarity: Clearer thinking about the relationship and situation
• Energy return: Feeling more energized and vital
• Emotional release: May cry, feel grief, or experience catharsis
• Physical sensations: Tingling, warmth, or release in chakra areas

Short-Term Effects (Days to Weeks)

• Grief or sadness: Even when cutting unhealthy cords, loss is real
• Temptation to reconnect: Old patterns may pull you back
• Dreams about the person: Subconscious processing the release
• Increased boundaries: Clearer sense of what you will and won't accept
• Energetic shifts: Changes in how you feel and interact with the world

Long-Term Effects

• Freedom: Genuine release from the relationship's hold
• Healing: Ability to heal wounds from the relationship
• New patterns: Breaking cycles and attracting healthier connections
• Empowerment: Reclaiming your energy and autonomy
• Growth: Moving forward in your life and development

Potential Challenges

• Cords reforming: If you continue interacting, cords may reconnect
• Resistance from the other person: They may unconsciously try to reconnect
• Incomplete cutting: Some cords are stubborn and require multiple attempts
• Emotional backlash: Grief, anger, or sadness may surface

Maintaining Boundaries After Cord Cutting

Energetic Boundaries

• Regular shielding: Maintain protective energy around yourself
• Grounding practices: Stay centered in your own energy
• Cord checks: Periodically scan for new or reforming cords
• Cleansing: Regular energetic hygiene to prevent reattachment

Physical Boundaries

• No contact: If appropriate, maintain physical distance
• Block on social media: Prevent energetic connection through digital means
• Clear communication: State your boundaries clearly if contact is necessary
• Limit exposure: Minimize time spent thinking about or discussing the person

Emotional Boundaries

• Process your feelings: Work through emotions without reconnecting
• Therapy or support: Get help processing the relationship
• Self-care: Prioritize your own healing and wellbeing
• New focus: Invest energy in your own life and growth

Cord Cleaning vs. Cord Cutting

Sometimes you don't need to cut cords—you need to clean them.

Cord Cleaning

When to use: Relationships you want to maintain but that have become unhealthy or imbalanced

Method:

1. Visualize the cord connecting you to the person
2. See it covered in debris, tangles, or dark energy
3. Visualize light or water flowing through the cord, cleansing it
4. See the cord become clear, bright, and healthy
5. Set intention for balanced, healthy connection

Appropriate for:

• Family relationships you can't or don't want to sever
• Friendships going through rough patches
• Romantic relationships you're working to heal
• Professional relationships that have become strained

Special Considerations

Cutting Cords with Deceased Loved Ones

• This doesn't mean you stop loving them
• It releases unhealthy grief or attachment that prevents moving forward
• Allows them to move on in their journey as well
• You can maintain love and connection without energetic cords
• Consider whether you're cutting cords or just releasing grief

Cutting Cords with Family Members

• Family cords are often the strongest and most complex
• May require multiple cutting sessions
• Consider cord cleaning instead if you maintain contact
• Cutting doesn't mean you stop being related—just releases unhealthy dynamics
• May bring up deep emotions and family patterns

Cutting Cords with Yourself

• Releasing attachment to past versions of yourself
• Letting go of old identities, traumas, or patterns
• Supporting transformation and growth
• Particularly powerful during major life transitions

Ethical Considerations

Consent

• You don't need the other person's permission to cut cords
• You have sovereignty over your own energy
• Cord cutting affects your side of the connection
• It's not an attack on them—it's self-care for you

Intention

• Cut cords for your own healing, not to hurt them
• Release with love and gratitude for lessons learned
• Don't use cord cutting as punishment or manipulation
• Approach with compassion for both yourself and them

Responsibility

• Cord cutting doesn't absolve you of real-world responsibilities
• Still need to handle practical matters (co-parenting, shared finances, etc.)
• It's energetic work, not a substitute for real-world action
• Take responsibility for your part in the relationship dynamics

Conclusion: Freedom Through Release

Cord cutting is an act of self-love and boundary-setting. It's not about hatred or rejection—it's about honoring yourself enough to release connections that no longer serve your highest good.

Key principles for ethical cord cutting:

• Clarity: Be clear about why you're cutting cords
• Compassion: Approach with love for yourself and the other person
• Completeness: Follow through with energetic and practical boundaries
• Healing: Use the freedom to heal and grow
• Discernment: Know when to cut, when to clean, and when to leave cords intact

Not all connections are meant to last forever. Some people come into our lives for a season, teach us what we need to learn, and then it's time to release them with gratitude.

Cord cutting gives you the power to choose which connections you maintain and which you release. It's an act of sovereignty, self-respect, and spiritual maturity.

Cut the cords that bind you. Keep the lessons that free you.

NICOLE LAU is a researcher and writer specializing in Western esotericism, Jungian psychology, and comparative mysticism. She is the author of the Western Esoteric Classics series and New Age Spirituality series.