Growth and Internal Locus: Becoming Who You Want to Be

BY NICOLE LAU

The Psychology of Internal Locus: Why Most Suffering is Optional - Module 4: Adult Internal Locus Development (18+) - Part I: Young Adult Period (18-30)

You want to grow. To become better. To develop into who you want to be. But you're measuring growth by external standards. You're trying to become who others think you should be. You're never enough because you're chasing someone else's vision.

This is external locus in growth. Your worth depends on meeting external standards of development. You're growing to prove you're worthy. You're becoming who they want, not who you want.

But here's the truth: Growth is yours to define. You decide who you want to become. Your vision matters more than theirs. You're already worthy - growth is about becoming, not proving. This is internal locus in growth.

The External Locus Growth Pattern

External Standards: You're trying to meet others' standards of growth. Their vision of success. Their definition of better. This is external locus.

Proving Worth: You're growing to prove you're worthy. To show you're good enough. Growth is performance. This is external locus creating pressure.

Never Enough: You're never growing fast enough. Never good enough. Always falling short. This is external locus creating dissatisfaction.

Comparison: You compare your growth to others'. They're further along. You're behind. This is external locus creating inadequacy.

Lost Direction: You don't know who you want to be. You're following others' paths. You're lost. This is external locus creating confusion.

The Internal Locus Alternative

Your Vision: You define who you want to become. Your values guide you. Your vision matters. This is internal locus.

Growth for Becoming: You grow because you want to become. Not to prove. Not to perform. To evolve into who you want to be. This is internal locus in motivation.

Your Pace: You grow at your pace. Your timeline is yours. You're exactly where you need to be. This is internal locus in timing.

Your Path: Your growth path is unique. You're not comparing. You're becoming you. This is internal locus in journey.

Clear Direction: You know who you want to become. Your values guide you. You're on your path. This is internal locus in clarity.

Understanding Growth

Growth is Personal: Your growth is yours. What you want to develop. Who you want to become. This is personal.

Growth is Process: It's not destination. It's journey. You're always becoming. This is ongoing.

Growth is Non-Linear: You don't grow in straight line. There are plateaus, setbacks, leaps. This is normal.

Growth is Intentional: You choose what to develop. You direct your growth. This is agency.

Growth is Worthy: You're worthy now. Growth doesn't make you more worthy. You're becoming, not proving.

Building Internal Locus in Growth

1. Define Your Vision: Who do you want to become? What matters to you? What do you want to develop? This is your vision.

2. Identify Your Values: What guides you? What's important? Your values direct your growth.

3. Set Your Goals: Based on your vision and values. Not others' expectations. Your goals.

4. Honor Your Pace: Grow at your pace. Your timeline is valid. You're not behind.

5. Celebrate Progress: Notice growth. Celebrate steps. Appreciate becoming.

6. Stay on Your Path: Don't compare. Don't follow others' paths. Stay on yours.

7. Remember Your Worth: You're worthy now. Growth is becoming, not proving.

Areas of Growth

Skills: What skills do you want to develop? For you. Not for resume. For becoming.

Character: What character traits do you want to cultivate? Kindness? Courage? Integrity?

Relationships: How do you want to grow in relationships? Communication? Vulnerability? Boundaries?

Career: How do you want to grow professionally? Based on your values. Your vision.

Health: How do you want to grow in health? Physical? Mental? Emotional?

Spirituality: How do you want to grow spiritually? Connection? Meaning? Purpose?

Becoming Who You Want to Be

This is the message for growth: You decide who you want to become. Your vision matters. Your values guide you. You're already worthy - growth is about becoming, not proving.

Define your vision. Set your goals. Honor your pace. Stay on your path. Celebrate progress. Remember your worth.

You're becoming. This is beautiful. This is growth.

This is growth with internal locus. This is becoming who you want to be. This is growth liberation.