Authenticity and Internal Locus: Being Yourself

BY NICOLE LAU

The Psychology of Internal Locus: Why Most Suffering is Optional - Module 4: Adult Internal Locus Development (18+) - Part I: Young Adult Period (18-30)

You're performing. Pretending. Hiding who you really are. You show people what you think they want to see. You're exhausted from the performance. You don't even know who you are anymore.

This is external locus in authenticity. Your worth depends on being who others want you to be. Real you = unacceptable = worthless. Performed you = acceptable = valuable. You're losing yourself to earn worth.

But here's the truth: You're worthy as you are. Authenticity is freedom. Being yourself is success. Your worth isn't your performance. This is internal locus in authenticity.

The External Locus Authenticity Pattern

Performing: You show people what they want to see. You're different with different people. You're not being yourself. This is external locus.

Hiding: You hide parts of yourself. Your interests, opinions, feelings, desires. You're afraid they won't accept real you. This is external locus creating disconnection.

People-Pleasing: You contort yourself to fit what others want. You're trying to earn acceptance through performance. This is external locus creating exhaustion.

Lost Self: You don't know who you are anymore. You've performed so long you've lost yourself. This is external locus creating identity crisis.

Chronic Dissatisfaction: You're never satisfied because you're not living your truth. You're living someone else's version of you. This is external locus creating emptiness.

The Internal Locus Alternative

Being Yourself: You show up as you are. Your real interests, opinions, feelings, desires. This is authenticity. This is internal locus.

Sharing Truthfully: You share what's true for you. You're honest. You're real. This is internal locus in expression.

Self-Acceptance: You accept yourself as you are. You're not trying to be someone else. You're being you. This is internal locus in identity.

Knowing Yourself: You know who you are. Your values, desires, boundaries. You're connected to yourself. This is internal locus in self-knowledge.

Fulfillment: You're satisfied because you're living your truth. You're being yourself. This is internal locus in wellbeing.

Understanding Authenticity

Authenticity is Freedom: When you're yourself, you're free. No more performing. No more hiding. Just being.

Authenticity is Magnetic: Real you attracts right people. Performed you attracts wrong people. Authenticity creates genuine connections.

Authenticity is Sustainable: You can't perform forever. Authenticity is sustainable. You can be yourself indefinitely.

Authenticity is Courageous: Being yourself when others might not accept you - this is courage. This is strength.

Authenticity is Your Right: You're allowed to be yourself. You don't need permission. You're worthy as you are.

Building Internal Locus in Authenticity

1. Separate Worth from Performance: Practice: "My worth isn't my performance. I'm valuable as I am. Being myself is enough."

2. Know Yourself: What do you actually like? What are your real opinions? What do you value? Get to know yourself.

3. Share Truthfully: Start small. Share one true thing. Then another. Build authenticity muscle.

4. Stop Performing: Notice when you're performing. Pause. Choose authenticity instead.

5. Accept Yourself: You're allowed to be you. Your interests, opinions, feelings are valid. Accept yourself.

6. Let Go of Wrong People: Some people won't accept real you. That's okay. They're not your people. Let them go.

7. Find Your People: Seek people who accept real you. They're out there. Authenticity attracts them.

Areas of Authenticity

Interests: Like what you like. You don't have to pretend to like what's cool. Your interests are valid.

Opinions: Have your own opinions. You don't have to agree with everyone. Your thoughts matter.

Feelings: Feel what you feel. You don't have to perform happiness. Your feelings are valid.

Desires: Want what you want. You don't have to want what you're supposed to want. Your desires matter.

Values: Live your values. You don't have to adopt others' values. Your values guide you.

Expression: Express yourself authentically. Dress how you want. Speak how you speak. Be you.

Common Authenticity Struggles

At Work: Internal locus response: "I can be professional and authentic. I don't have to perform a work persona. I can be myself."

With Family: Internal locus response: "I can love my family and be myself. I don't have to be who they want me to be."

In Relationships: Internal locus response: "I can be myself in this relationship. If they don't accept real me, it's not right fit."

Socially: Internal locus response: "I can be myself socially. I don't have to perform cool. Real me is enough."

Online: Internal locus response: "I can be authentic online. I don't have to curate perfect image. Real me is valuable."

When Authenticity Feels Scary

Fear of Rejection: You're afraid they won't accept real you. This is valid fear. But hiding isn't solution. Authenticity attracts right people.

Past Rejection: You were rejected for being yourself before. This hurt. But not everyone will reject you. Find your people.

Identity Confusion: You don't know who you are. That's okay. Authenticity is discovery process. You'll learn as you go.

Safety Concerns: Sometimes hiding is safety. If being yourself is unsafe, protect yourself first. Authenticity when safe.

Being Yourself

This is the message for authenticity: You're worthy as you are. Authenticity is freedom. Being yourself is success. Your worth isn't your performance.

Stop performing. Stop hiding. Be yourself. Share truthfully. Accept yourself. Find your people.

Real you is enough. Real you is valuable. Real you is worthy of love and acceptance.

This is authenticity with internal locus. This is being yourself. This is authenticity liberation.