Narcissistic Abuse & Magic: Healing & Protection

BY NICOLE LAU

Narcissistic abuse is a form of psychological and emotional abuse characterized by manipulation, control, gaslighting, and exploitation by someone with narcissistic traits or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The damage is profound—it attacks your sense of self, reality, and worth. For witches, narcissistic abuse can also target your magical practice, intuition, and spiritual identity. But magic offers powerful tools for protection, healing, and reclaiming your power. Through cord cutting, boundary work, protection spells, and deep healing practices, you can break free from narcissistic abuse and rebuild yourself stronger than before.

IMPORTANT: This article is not a replacement for professional support. Narcissistic abuse is serious and often requires therapy, legal intervention, and safety planning. Magic can support your healing, but please also seek professional help.

Understanding Narcissistic Abuse

What is Narcissistic Abuse?

Narcissistic abuse is a pattern of emotional and psychological abuse by someone with narcissistic traits.

Common narcissistic abuse tactics:

• Gaslighting: Making you doubt your reality and sanity
• Love bombing: Intense affection and attention at the beginning
• Devaluation: Criticism, contempt, and degradation
• Triangulation: Using third parties to manipulate and control
• Projection: Accusing you of what they're doing
• Hoovering: Sucking you back in after you try to leave
• Silent treatment: Withholding communication as punishment
• Smear campaigns: Destroying your reputation
• Flying monkeys: Using others to harass or spy on you

The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle

Narcissistic abuse follows a predictable pattern.

The cycle:

1. Idealization (Love Bombing): Intense affection, you're perfect, soulmates, moving fast
2. Devaluation: Criticism, contempt, gaslighting, you're never good enough
3. Discard: Sudden abandonment, coldness, replacement
4. Hoover: Attempts to pull you back in, promises to change, love bombing again
5. Repeat: The cycle continues, often getting worse

Effects of Narcissistic Abuse

The damage is profound and long-lasting.

Common effects:

• Complex PTSD (C-PTSD)
• Anxiety and depression
• Loss of sense of self
• Constant self-doubt
• Difficulty trusting yourself and others
• Hypervigilance
• Emotional dysregulation
• Physical health problems
• Isolation from support systems
• Financial abuse and control

Narcissistic Abuse in Magical Communities

Spiritual Narcissists

Narcissists in magical communities use spirituality to manipulate.

What it looks like:

• "I'm more spiritually evolved than you"
• Using spiritual concepts to avoid accountability
• Claiming special spiritual powers or status
• Dismissing your experiences as "not spiritual enough"
• Using magic to control or manipulate you
• Spiritual bypassing to dismiss your pain
• Claiming to be your spiritual teacher/guru to control you

Targeting Your Magic

Narcissists may specifically target your magical practice.

Tactics:

• Dismissing your magical experiences as "not real"
• Claiming your magic doesn't work or is weak
• Taking credit for your magical successes
• Sabotaging your practice or rituals
• Using your magical beliefs to manipulate you
• Isolating you from magical community
• Making you doubt your intuition and psychic abilities

Coven or Group Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic leaders in covens or magical groups.

Warning signs:

• Leader demands absolute obedience
• Questioning is punished
• Members are isolated from outside support
• Financial exploitation
• Sexual coercion or abuse
• Claiming special divine authority
• Love bombing new members, devaluing long-term ones
• Cult-like dynamics

Recognizing Narcissistic Abuse

Red Flags

Signs you may be experiencing narcissistic abuse.

In the relationship:

• You feel like you're walking on eggshells
• You constantly question your own reality
• You feel confused and disoriented
• You've lost your sense of self
• You apologize constantly
• You feel like you're never good enough
• You're isolated from friends and family
• You feel anxious, depressed, or traumatized

Their behavior:

• Lack of empathy
• Grandiosity and entitlement
• Need for constant admiration
• Exploits others
• Never takes responsibility
• Gaslights and manipulates
• Rages when challenged
• Plays victim when held accountable

Trust Your Gut

Your intuition knows something is wrong.

If you feel:

• Something is off but you can't explain it
• Worse about yourself since meeting them
• Confused and crazy around them
• Like you're losing yourself
• Afraid of their reaction
• Trapped or controlled

Trust that feeling. Your intuition is protecting you.

Protection Magic

Shielding from Narcissistic Energy

Protect yourself from their toxic energy.

Protection shield:

1. Visualize a shield around you—mirror-like on the outside
2. Their toxic energy reflects back to them, not into you
3. Inside the shield, you're safe and protected
4. Speak: "I am protected. Their toxicity cannot penetrate my shield. I reflect their energy back to them. I am safe."
5. Reinforce daily, especially before contact

Freezer Spell

Freeze their ability to harm you.

Spell:

1. Write their name on paper
2. Add: "You have no power over me. You cannot harm me. You are frozen out of my life."
3. Place in a small container of water
4. Add black pepper, salt, and vinegar
5. Freeze it
6. Speak: "You are frozen. You cannot reach me. You cannot harm me. You have no power here."
7. Keep frozen until they're out of your life

Return to Sender Spell

Send their negative energy back to them.

Spell:

1. Light a black candle
2. Hold a mirror facing away from you
3. Speak: "All negativity you send to me returns to you threefold. Your toxicity is your own. I am protected. I am free."
4. Visualize their energy bouncing off the mirror back to them
5. Let the candle burn down (safely)

Binding Spell

Bind them from causing further harm.

Spell:

1. Write their name on paper
2. Wrap it tightly with black thread or cord
3. As you wrap, speak: "I bind you from harming me. I bind you from manipulating me. I bind you from contacting me. You have no power over me."
4. Seal with black wax
5. Bury it far from your home or throw it in moving water

Cord Cutting

Why Cord Cutting is Essential

Narcissists create strong energetic cords to maintain control.

These cords:

• Drain your energy
• Keep you connected to them
• Allow them to influence you energetically
• Make it hard to move on
• Keep you in the trauma bond

Cord Cutting Ritual

Sever the energetic connection.

Ritual:

1. Create sacred space
2. Light a black candle (cutting, endings)
3. Visualize the cord connecting you to them—see it clearly
4. Notice where it attaches to you (often solar plexus, heart, or throat)
5. Thank the cord for what it taught you
6. With a ritual knife, scissors, or visualization, cut the cord
7. Speak: "I cut all cords between us. I am free. You have no hold on me. I reclaim my energy."
8. Visualize the cord dissolving
9. Call back all your energy from them
10. Send their energy back to them
11. Seal your energy field with white or gold light
12. Ground and close

Ongoing Cord Cutting

You may need to cut cords multiple times.

Practice:

• Cut cords daily if needed
• Especially after contact or thinking about them
• Each cutting weakens the connection
• Eventually, the cords won't reform
• Be patient with the process

Healing Magic

Reclaiming Your Power

Narcissistic abuse takes your power—reclaim it.

Power reclamation ritual:

1. Create sacred space
2. Light a gold or orange candle (personal power)
3. Hold carnelian, tiger's eye, or sunstone
4. Speak: "I reclaim my power. I reclaim my self. I reclaim my truth. I reclaim my magic. I reclaim my worth. I am sovereign. I am whole. I am free."
5. Visualize your power—stolen or given away—returning to you
6. Feel yourself becoming whole and powerful again
7. Speak: "I am powerful. I am worthy. I am enough. I am free."

Self-Love Spell

Rebuild your sense of self-worth.

Spell:

1. Light a pink candle (self-love)
2. Hold rose quartz
3. Look in a mirror
4. Speak to yourself: "I am worthy of love. I am enough. I am valuable. I deserve respect and kindness. I love and accept myself."
5. Place hand on heart
6. Feel love flowing to yourself
7. Repeat daily

Healing Bath Ritual

Cleanse and heal from their toxic energy.

Ritual:

1. Draw a warm bath
2. Add salt (cleansing), lavender (healing), rose petals (self-love)
3. Light candles
4. As you soak, visualize their toxic energy washing off you
5. Speak: "I cleanse myself of your toxicity. I wash away your influence. I am clean. I am healed. I am free."
6. When you drain the bath, visualize all their energy going down the drain
7. Rinse with fresh water
8. Step out renewed

No Contact & Boundaries

Why No Contact is Essential

No contact is often the only way to heal from narcissistic abuse.

No contact means:

• No phone calls, texts, emails
• No social media contact or stalking
• No contact through third parties
• No "just checking in"
• Complete separation

Why it's necessary:

• Narcissists don't change
• Any contact resets your healing
• They will hoover and manipulate
• You cannot heal while still connected
• No contact is self-protection, not punishment

Gray Rock Method

If no contact isn't possible (shared children, work, etc.), use gray rock.

Gray rock means:

• Be boring and uninteresting
• Give minimal, factual responses
• Show no emotion
• Don't share personal information
• Don't react to provocations
• Be as interesting as a gray rock

This removes their narcissistic supply and protects you.

Magical Boundaries

Set fierce energetic boundaries.

Boundary spell:

1. Light a black candle
2. Hold black tourmaline
3. Visualize a wall of fire or mirrors around you
4. Speak: "My boundaries are sacred and unbreakable. You cannot cross them. You cannot reach me. You have no access to me—physically, emotionally, energetically, or spiritually. I am protected. I am sovereign."
5. Reinforce daily

Breaking Trauma Bonds

What is Trauma Bonding?

Trauma bonding is the intense attachment formed through cycles of abuse and intermittent reinforcement.

Why it happens:

• Intermittent reinforcement (sometimes kind, sometimes cruel) creates powerful bonds
• Your brain becomes addicted to the highs after the lows
• You bond to your abuser as a survival mechanism
• It's not love—it's trauma

Breaking the Bond

Breaking trauma bonds is difficult but necessary.

Practices:

• No contact—essential for breaking the bond
• Educate yourself about narcissistic abuse and trauma bonding
• Therapy—especially trauma-focused therapy
• Support groups—connect with other survivors
• Cord cutting—energetic separation
• Self-compassion—you're not weak, you're traumatized
• Time—healing takes time, be patient

Trauma Bond Breaking Spell

1. Write about the trauma bond—what keeps you attached
2. Read it aloud—acknowledge it
3. Speak: "This is not love. This is trauma. I release this bond. I am free."
4. Burn the paper
5. As it burns, visualize the bond dissolving
6. Speak: "I am free. I am whole. I am worthy of real love."
7. Ground and close

Working with Professional Support

Therapy for Narcissistic Abuse

Professional support is crucial for healing.

Look for therapists who:

• Specialize in narcissistic abuse or trauma
• Understand C-PTSD
• Are trained in trauma-focused modalities (EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, IFS)
• Validate your experience
• Don't suggest couples therapy with your abuser (dangerous)

Support Groups

Connect with other survivors.

Benefits:

• You're not alone
• Others understand
• Validation and support
• Shared strategies and resources
• Hope—others have healed, you can too

Safety Planning

If you're planning to leave or have left, create a safety plan.

Safety plan includes:

• Safe place to go
• Important documents secured
• Financial resources
• Support contacts
• Legal protection if needed
• Magical protection and boundaries

Crystals for Healing & Protection

Protection Stones

Black Tourmaline: Protection, grounding, shields from narcissistic energy
Obsidian: Protection, truth, reveals manipulation, grounding
Black Onyx: Protection, strength, boundaries, grounding
Labradorite: Protection, deflects manipulation, mystical shield

Healing Stones

Rose Quartz: Self-love, heart healing, gentle healing
Rhodonite: Emotional healing, forgiveness (of self), heart healing
Malachite: Deep trauma healing, transformation (use carefully)
Lepidolite: Calming, soothing, emotional balance

Empowerment Stones

Carnelian: Personal power, courage, confidence, vitality
Tiger's Eye: Personal power, protection, confidence, grounding
Sunstone: Personal power, joy, optimism, vitality
Citrine: Personal power, abundance, joy, manifestation

Self-Compassion for Survivors

You Are Not to Blame

Narcissistic abuse is not your fault.

Remember:

• You didn't cause the abuse
• You couldn't have prevented it
• You're not weak or stupid
• Narcissists are skilled manipulators
• Anyone can be targeted
• You deserve compassion, not blame

Affirmations for Healing

• I am not to blame for the abuse
• I am worthy of love and respect
• I am strong for surviving
• I am healing every day
• I reclaim my power
• I trust myself
• I am free
• I am whole
• I am enough
• I deserve better

Messages for Survivors

• You are not crazy—you were abused
• It's not your fault
• You are not alone
• You are strong for surviving
• You deserve to heal
• No contact is self-protection, not cruelty
• You can rebuild yourself
• You are worthy of real love
• Healing is possible
• You are enough

Conclusion

Narcissistic abuse is profound psychological and emotional abuse that attacks your sense of self, reality, and worth. Through protection magic, cord cutting, boundary work, healing rituals, and professional support, you can break free and reclaim your power. You are not to blame. You are not alone. You are strong for surviving. And you can heal. Your magic is powerful, your intuition is valid, and you deserve love, respect, and freedom.

Protect yourself. Cut the cords. Set boundaries. Heal deeply. Reclaim your power. You are free.