Therapy for Children: When to Seek Help

BY NICOLE LAU

Childhood Internal Locus Building: Ages 0-12

Seeking help is strength, not weakness. This is internal locus applied to mental health. When families know therapy is a tool for building internal locus - when getting help maintains worth, when professional support is normalized - children develop healthy relationship with mental health care. When therapy is shameful or avoided, external locus prevents getting needed help. Your job is to seek help when needed and teach: "Therapy is strength. Getting help is smart. Your worth is intact while getting support. Mental health matters."

When to Seek Therapy

Persistent Sadness or Anxiety: Lasting more than 2 weeks, interfering with daily life

Behavioral Changes: Sudden aggression, withdrawal, regression, significant personality changes

School Problems: Sudden drop in grades, refusing to go to school, social difficulties

Trauma: After any traumatic event (abuse, loss, violence, disaster)

Family Changes: Divorce, death, major transitions causing significant distress

Self-Harm or Suicidal Thoughts: Immediate professional help needed

Eating or Sleep Problems: Significant changes in eating or sleeping patterns

Substance Use: Any substance use in children requires professional support

When You're Concerned: Trust your instinct. If you're worried, get evaluation.

How Therapy Builds Internal Locus

Teaches Worth is Inherent: Good therapists reinforce internal locus

Builds Coping Skills: Tools for managing emotions without worth depending on them

Processes Experiences: Healing from trauma, loss, challenges while maintaining worth

Develops Self-Knowledge: Understanding self builds internal locus

Normalizes Getting Help: Seeking support is strength, not weakness. Internal locus.

How to Approach Therapy

1. No Shame

What to Say:

- "Therapy is a tool to help you feel better"

- "Getting help is smart and strong"

- "Lots of people go to therapy"

- "There's nothing wrong with needing support"

Why: Shame-free therapy seeking builds internal locus.

2. Worth Intact While Getting Help

What to Teach:

- "Your worth doesn't change because you need therapy"

- "Getting help doesn't mean you're broken"

- "You're valuable while getting support"

- "Therapy is for everyone, not just 'broken' people"

Why: Worth stability through therapy builds internal locus.

3. Find the Right Therapist

What to Look For:

- Specializes in children

- Trauma-informed if needed

- Evidence-based approaches (CBT, play therapy, etc.)

- Good fit with your child

- Reinforces internal locus (worth-based messaging)

Why: Right therapist supports internal locus development.

4. Support the Process

What to Do:

- Attend sessions consistently

- Follow therapist recommendations

- Be patient with process

- Reinforce therapy work at home

- Participate in family therapy if recommended

Why: Support enables therapy to build internal locus.

5. Model Healthy Help-Seeking

What to Show:

- You seek help when you need it

- Therapy is normal and healthy

- Getting support is strength

- Mental health matters

Why: Children learn from what you do. Model internal locus.

What NOT to Do

Don't Shame Therapy: "Only crazy people go to therapy." Creates external locus and prevents getting help.

Don't Make Worth Conditional: "You need therapy because something's wrong with you." Damages worth.

Don't Avoid Needed Help: If child needs therapy, get it. Avoiding help creates problems.

Don't Share Private Therapy Details: Respect child's privacy. Therapy is confidential.

The Bottom Line

Seek therapy when needed. No shame, worth intact while getting help, find right therapist, support the process, model healthy help-seeking. Therapy is a tool for building internal locus. Getting help is strength, not weakness. Your child's worth is intact while getting support. Mental health matters. This is internal locus - knowing when you need help and seeking it without shame.

---

This marks the 100th article in this extraordinary series!

Childhood Internal Locus Building series: Practical guidance for raising children with inherent worth.

— Nicole Lau, 2026