Shadow Work Prompts: 30 Questions to Integrate Your Darkness
Introduction: The Questions You've Been Avoiding
Shadow work isn't comfortable. It's not supposed to be.
It's the practice of looking at the parts of yourself you've hidden, denied, or rejected. The anger you pretend you don't feel. The jealousy you're ashamed of. The wounds you've never healed.
And the fastest way to access your shadow? Ask the right questions.
This guide gives you 30 powerful shadow work prompts—questions designed to crack open your defenses, reveal what's hiding in the dark, and help you integrate the parts of yourself you've been running from.
Grab your journal. Get honest. Let's go into the shadow.
How to Use These Prompts
The Rules
- Write without editing: Don't censor yourself. Let it flow, even if it's messy or "wrong"
- Be brutally honest: No one will read this but you. Tell the truth
- Don't rush: Spend at least 10-15 minutes on each prompt
- Feel your feelings: If you cry, rage, or feel uncomfortable—good. That's the shadow emerging
- Go slow: Don't do all 30 in one sitting. One per day (or week) is powerful
What You'll Need
- A private journal (not your phone—handwriting accesses deeper emotions)
- A safe, quiet space
- Time and emotional capacity (don't do this when you're already overwhelmed)
- Optional: grounding crystals (black tourmaline, obsidian, smoky quartz)
Safety First
Shadow work can bring up intense emotions and memories. If you have trauma, PTSD, or mental health concerns, consider working with a therapist alongside these prompts.
The 30 Shadow Work Prompts
Part 1: Uncovering Your Shadow (Prompts 1-10)
1. What emotion am I most afraid to feel? Why?
This reveals what you're suppressing. Common answers: rage, grief, shame, fear, vulnerability.
2. What parts of myself do I hide from others?
Your shadow is what you don't let people see. What are you keeping secret?
3. What do I judge most harshly in other people?
What you judge in others is often what you've rejected in yourself. This is called projection.
4. What would I do if I knew no one would judge me?
This reveals desires and parts of yourself you've suppressed due to fear of judgment.
5. What am I ashamed of?
Shame lives in the shadow. Naming it brings it into the light.
6. What do I pretend not to want?
Sometimes we deny our desires because we think they're "bad" or "selfish." What are you pretending you don't want?
7. When do I feel most like a fraud?
Imposter syndrome is a shadow issue. When does it show up for you?
8. What would my younger self think of who I've become?
This reveals where you've betrayed yourself or your values.
9. What do I refuse to forgive myself for?
Unforgiven mistakes live in the shadow, creating guilt and self-sabotage.
10. What am I avoiding by staying busy?
Busyness is often a defense mechanism. What are you running from?
Part 2: Childhood Wounds (Prompts 11-20)
11. What did I need as a child that I didn't receive?
Unmet childhood needs create shadow patterns. Common answers: safety, love, attention, validation, freedom.
12. What did I learn about love from my parents/caregivers?
Your early models of love shape your adult relationships—often unconsciously.
13. What was I punished for as a child?
What you were punished for, you learned to hide. This becomes shadow material.
14. What did I have to do to get attention or approval?
This reveals people-pleasing patterns and false selves you created to survive.
15. What did I believe about myself as a child that I still believe today?
Childhood beliefs ("I'm not good enough," "I'm too much," "I'm unlovable") often run your adult life from the shadow.
16. What did I have to sacrifice to be loved?
Did you have to be quiet? Perfect? Invisible? Helpful? What parts of yourself did you give up?
17. What would I tell my younger self if I could?
This is an inner child healing prompt. What does that child need to hear?
18. What did I witness as a child that I've never processed?
Childhood trauma doesn't have to be "big" to impact you. What did you see that scared, confused, or hurt you?
19. What family patterns am I repeating?
We often unconsciously repeat our parents' patterns—even the ones we swore we'd never repeat.
20. What did I learn about my worth as a child?
Was your worth conditional? Based on achievement? Appearance? Behavior? How does that show up now?
Part 3: Relationships & Patterns (Prompts 21-25)
21. What pattern keeps repeating in my relationships?
Same fight, different person? That's a shadow pattern trying to get your attention.
22. What do I attract in others that I refuse to see in myself?
We attract what we are, not what we want. What are your relationships mirroring back to you?
23. What am I afraid will happen if I set boundaries?
Fear of boundaries often comes from childhood wounds. What are you afraid of?
24. Who do I need to forgive (including myself)?
Unforgiveness keeps you stuck. Who are you still holding resentment toward?
25. What do I do when I feel abandoned or rejected?
Your abandonment response is a shadow pattern. Do you chase? Withdraw? Lash out? Freeze?
Part 4: Power & Authenticity (Prompts 26-30)
26. Where do I give my power away?
To people? To circumstances? To fear? Where are you playing small?
27. What would I do if I weren't afraid?
Fear keeps your authentic self in the shadow. What's on the other side of that fear?
28. What am I pretending not to know?
Sometimes we know the truth but refuse to acknowledge it. What truth are you avoiding?
29. What would my life look like if I fully accepted myself?
Imagine a life where you don't reject any part of yourself. What changes?
30. What is my shadow trying to teach me?
Your shadow isn't your enemy—it's your teacher. What lesson is it offering?
How to Work with Your Answers
Step 1: Acknowledge Without Judgment
Whatever came up, don't judge it. Don't shame yourself. Just acknowledge: "This is part of me."
Step 2: Feel the Feelings
If emotions arise (anger, grief, shame), let them move through you. Cry. Scream into a pillow. Punch a cushion. Let it out.
Step 3: Look for Patterns
As you work through the prompts, notice themes. What keeps coming up? That's your core shadow work.
Step 4: Integrate, Don't Reject
The goal isn't to "fix" or "get rid of" your shadow. It's to integrate it. Say: "This is part of me, and I accept it."
Step 5: Take Action
Shadow work without action is just journaling. What one thing can you do differently based on what you've learned?
Shadow Work Rituals to Enhance the Prompts
The Mirror Ritual
After journaling, stand in front of a mirror. Look yourself in the eyes and say: "I see you. I accept you. All of you."
The Burning Ritual
Write what you're ready to release on paper. Burn it safely and say: "I release this pattern. I am free."
The Inner Child Dialogue
After childhood prompts, write a letter to your younger self. Then write a response FROM your younger self to you.
The Shadow Meditation
Sit in meditation. Visualize your shadow as a figure. Ask it: "What do you need me to know?" Listen.
Crystals for Shadow Work
- Black Tourmaline: Protection while doing deep work
- Obsidian: The mirror stone—reveals what's hidden
- Smoky Quartz: Transmutes negative energy, grounds you
- Labradorite: Helps you see through illusions
- Amethyst: Spiritual protection and clarity
Signs You're Making Progress
- You stop judging others as harshly
- You feel more authentic and less like you're performing
- Old patterns start to shift
- You have more compassion for yourself
- You're less triggered by things that used to set you off
- You feel more whole, even if you're not "perfect"
When Shadow Work Gets Too Heavy
If you're feeling overwhelmed, stop. Shadow work should be challenging, not retraumatizing.
Grounding techniques:
- 5-4-3-2-1 method (name 5 things you see, 4 you hear, 3 you touch, 2 you smell, 1 you taste)
- Hold a grounding crystal
- Go outside barefoot
- Take a cold shower
- Call a trusted friend or therapist
The Truth About Shadow Work
Shadow work isn't a one-time thing. It's a lifelong practice.
You don't "finish" shadow work. You peel back layers. You discover new shadows. You integrate, and then you discover more.
And that's okay.
Because every layer you integrate makes you more whole. More authentic. More free.
The shadow isn't your enemy. It's the part of you that's been waiting in the dark, hoping you'd finally turn around and see it.
So grab your journal. Ask the questions. Face the shadow.
Your wholeness is waiting.
