Therapy for Children: When to Seek Help
BY NICOLE LAU
Childhood Internal Locus Building: Ages 0-12
Seeking help is strength, not weakness. This is internal locus applied to mental health. When families know therapy is a tool for building internal locus - when getting help maintains worth, when professional support is normalized - children develop healthy relationship with mental health care. When therapy is shameful or avoided, external locus prevents getting needed help. Your job is to seek help when needed and teach: "Therapy is strength. Getting help is smart. Your worth is intact while getting support. Mental health matters."
When to Seek Therapy
Persistent Sadness or Anxiety: Lasting more than 2 weeks, interfering with daily life
Behavioral Changes: Sudden aggression, withdrawal, regression, significant personality changes
School Problems: Sudden drop in grades, refusing to go to school, social difficulties
Trauma: After any traumatic event (abuse, loss, violence, disaster)
Family Changes: Divorce, death, major transitions causing significant distress
Self-Harm or Suicidal Thoughts: Immediate professional help needed
Eating or Sleep Problems: Significant changes in eating or sleeping patterns
Substance Use: Any substance use in children requires professional support
When You're Concerned: Trust your instinct. If you're worried, get evaluation.
How Therapy Builds Internal Locus
Teaches Worth is Inherent: Good therapists reinforce internal locus
Builds Coping Skills: Tools for managing emotions without worth depending on them
Processes Experiences: Healing from trauma, loss, challenges while maintaining worth
Develops Self-Knowledge: Understanding self builds internal locus
Normalizes Getting Help: Seeking support is strength, not weakness. Internal locus.
How to Approach Therapy
1. No Shame
What to Say:
- "Therapy is a tool to help you feel better"
- "Getting help is smart and strong"
- "Lots of people go to therapy"
- "There's nothing wrong with needing support"
Why: Shame-free therapy seeking builds internal locus.
2. Worth Intact While Getting Help
What to Teach:
- "Your worth doesn't change because you need therapy"
- "Getting help doesn't mean you're broken"
- "You're valuable while getting support"
- "Therapy is for everyone, not just 'broken' people"
Why: Worth stability through therapy builds internal locus.
3. Find the Right Therapist
What to Look For:
- Specializes in children
- Trauma-informed if needed
- Evidence-based approaches (CBT, play therapy, etc.)
- Good fit with your child
- Reinforces internal locus (worth-based messaging)
Why: Right therapist supports internal locus development.
4. Support the Process
What to Do:
- Attend sessions consistently
- Follow therapist recommendations
- Be patient with process
- Reinforce therapy work at home
- Participate in family therapy if recommended
Why: Support enables therapy to build internal locus.
5. Model Healthy Help-Seeking
What to Show:
- You seek help when you need it
- Therapy is normal and healthy
- Getting support is strength
- Mental health matters
Why: Children learn from what you do. Model internal locus.
What NOT to Do
Don't Shame Therapy: "Only crazy people go to therapy." Creates external locus and prevents getting help.
Don't Make Worth Conditional: "You need therapy because something's wrong with you." Damages worth.
Don't Avoid Needed Help: If child needs therapy, get it. Avoiding help creates problems.
Don't Share Private Therapy Details: Respect child's privacy. Therapy is confidential.
The Bottom Line
Seek therapy when needed. No shame, worth intact while getting help, find right therapist, support the process, model healthy help-seeking. Therapy is a tool for building internal locus. Getting help is strength, not weakness. Your child's worth is intact while getting support. Mental health matters. This is internal locus - knowing when you need help and seeking it without shame.
This marks the 100th article in this extraordinary series!
Childhood Internal Locus Building series: Practical guidance for raising children with inherent worth.
β Nicole Lau, 2026
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