Trauma and Internal Locus: Healing with Support

BY NICOLE LAU

Childhood Internal Locus Building: Ages 0-12

Trauma happened TO you, not BECAUSE of you. This is internal locus applied to trauma. When children who've experienced trauma know their worth is intact - when trauma doesn't define them, when healing is possible with support - they can recover with internal locus. When worth feels damaged by trauma or trauma becomes identity, recovery is complicated by external locus. Your job is to provide: safety, professional support, and the message that worth is intact. Trauma is serious. Get professional help. AND know that internal locus supports healing.

Why External Locus Complicates Trauma Recovery

Worth Damaged by Trauma: "I'm broken/damaged/worthless because of trauma." Worth destroyed. External locus complicates healing.

Trauma as Identity: "I am my trauma." Identity fused with traumatic experience. External locus prevents moving forward.

Self-Blame: "It was my fault." Trauma is never child's fault. Self-blame is external locus.

Shame: "Something's wrong with me." Trauma creates shame. External locus deepens it.

How Internal Locus Supports Trauma Healing

1. Worth Intact Despite Trauma

What to Teach:

- "Your worth is intact"

- "Trauma doesn't make you less valuable"

- "You're not broken or damaged"

- "You're inherently worthy, always"

Why: Worth stability supports healing. Internal locus.

2. Not Your Fault

What to Say Repeatedly:

- "This was not your fault"

- "Nothing you did caused this"

- "You're not responsible for what happened"

- "Trauma happened TO you, not BECAUSE of you"

Why: Prevents self-blame. Internal locus.

3. Trauma Doesn't Define You

What to Teach:

- "You are not your trauma"

- "This is something that happened, not who you are"

- "You're more than this experience"

- "Trauma is part of your story, not all of it"

Why: Prevents identity fusion. Internal locus.

4. Healing is Possible with Support

What to Provide:

- Professional trauma therapy (essential)

- Safety and stability

- Unconditional love and support

- Patience with healing process

- Hope for recovery

Why: Support enables healing while maintaining internal locus.

5. You Are Not Alone

What to Offer:

- "I'm here for you"

- "You're not alone in this"

- "We'll get through this together"

- "Professional help is available"

Why: Connection supports internal locus through trauma recovery.

What NOT to Do

Don't Blame Child: Never. Trauma is never child's fault.

Don't Minimize Trauma: "It wasn't that bad." "Get over it." Invalidates experience.

Don't Skip Professional Help: Trauma requires professional support. Always.

Don't Make It About You: Child needs support, not to support you through your reaction.

Get Professional Help

Trauma is serious and requires professional support:

Trauma-Informed Therapist: Essential for healing

EMDR, TF-CBT, or other trauma therapies: Evidence-based treatments

Medical evaluation if needed: Physical health matters too

Family therapy: Helps whole family support healing

School support: Accommodations and understanding

The Bottom Line

Support trauma healing with internal locus. Worth intact despite trauma, not your fault, trauma doesn't define you, healing possible with support, you're not alone. Trauma is serious. Get professional help immediately. AND know that internal locus supports recovery. Your child's worth is intact. Trauma happened TO them, not BECAUSE of them. Healing is possible. This is internal locus through trauma - recovering while knowing worth was never destroyed.

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Next article will continue the Childhood Internal Locus Building series.

Childhood Internal Locus Building series: Practical guidance for raising children with inherent worth.

— Nicole Lau, 2026