Meditation, Mindfulness, and Locus

BY NICOLE LAU

Series: Locus and Spirituality - Worth in Transcendence (Part 5 of 7)

Meditation and mindfulness are powerful practices. They can cultivate presence, awareness, and peace.

But they can also reinforce external locus—if practiced as achievement, performance, or proof of worth.

This article explores how contemplative practice can cultivate internal locus (resting in being) or undermine it (meditation as worth-seeking), and how to practice mindfully, not just meditate.

Meditation and Mindfulness: Two Approaches

Approach 1: Meditation as Achievement (External Locus)

The pattern:

• "I am valuable if I meditate well"
• "I must achieve enlightenment/peace/stillness"
• "If I have thoughts during meditation, I am failing"
• "I am spiritual because I meditate"

This is meditation as external locus. Worth depends on meditation performance.

Approach 2: Meditation as Resting in Being (Internal Locus)

The pattern:

• "I am valuable whether I meditate or not"
• "Meditation is not achievement—it is resting in what already is"
• "Thoughts during meditation are not failure—they are part of the practice"
• "I meditate because I love it, not to prove I am spiritual"

This is meditation as internal locus. Worth is inherent. Meditation is expression, not proof.

How Meditation Can Reinforce External Locus

1. Meditation as Spiritual Achievement

"I am valuable because I meditate. I am more spiritual than people who don't meditate."

The trap: Meditation becomes identity and worth. You are valuable as a meditator, not as a person.

Result: Spiritual ego. Comparison. Judgment of non-meditators. Worth dependence on practice.

2. Meditation as Performance

"I must meditate perfectly. I must have no thoughts. I must achieve stillness."

The trap: Meditation becomes performance. You are constantly evaluating: Am I doing this right? Am I good enough?

Result: Anxiety during meditation. Self-judgment. Inability to rest. Meditation becomes burden, not gift.

3. Meditation as Worth Proof

"I meditate for 2 hours a day. I am dedicated. I am serious. I am worthy."

The trap: Meditation becomes proof of worth. The more you meditate, the more worthy you are.

Result: Meditation becomes compulsive. You cannot rest without feeling worthless. You are addicted to practice.

4. Meditation as Escape

"I meditate to escape my problems. I meditate to avoid difficult emotions."

The trap: Meditation becomes spiritual bypassing. You use it to avoid locus work, not support it.

Result: Unprocessed emotions. Dissociation. False peace that collapses when you stop meditating.

5. Meditation as Comparison

"They meditate more than me. They are more advanced. I am not good enough."

The trap: Meditation becomes competitive. You compare your practice to others.

Result: Comparative worth. Spiritual inadequacy. Never enough.

How Meditation Can Cultivate Internal Locus

1. Resting in Being

Meditation as simply being. Not achieving, not performing, not proving. Just sitting. Just breathing. Just being.

The teaching: "You are valuable simply because you exist. You do not need to achieve anything. Just rest in being."

Result: Internal locus. You are worthy whether you meditate or not, whether you achieve stillness or not.

2. Mindfulness of Locus Patterns

Using meditation to observe locus patterns without judgment.

Practice: Notice when you seek worth externally. Notice when you judge yourself. Notice when you perform. Just observe, without trying to fix.

Result: Awareness of locus patterns. This awareness is the first step to shifting them.

3. Self-Compassion Practice

Meditation as cultivating kindness toward yourself.

Practice: When you notice self-judgment during meditation, respond with compassion: "It's okay. I am learning. I am valuable whether I meditate perfectly or not."

Result: Internal locus. You are worthy of kindness, especially from yourself.

4. Non-Striving

Meditation without goal. Not trying to achieve anything. Just being present.

Practice: Sit without agenda. Do not try to stop thoughts. Do not try to achieve peace. Just sit.

Result: You learn that you are valuable without achieving. Worth is not dependent on meditation performance.

5. Embodied Presence

Meditation as being in your body, not escaping it.

Practice: Feel your breath. Feel your body. Be present in your flesh. Do not dissociate.

Result: Embodied worth. You are valuable in your body, not just in transcendent states.

The Trap: Meditation as Achievement

"I Must Achieve Enlightenment"

When meditation becomes about achieving enlightenment, it reinforces external locus:

"I am valuable if I am enlightened. I am worthless if I am not."

This creates spiritual striving—endless effort to become worthy through spiritual achievement.

The Paradox

The more you strive for enlightenment, the further you are from it.

Enlightenment (in many traditions) is not achievement—it is recognition. You are already whole. You just need to see it.

Striving reinforces the illusion that you are not already whole. Resting reveals that you are.

Mindfulness of Locus Patterns

What Is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is present-moment awareness without judgment.

You can use mindfulness to observe locus patterns as they arise.

Practice: Mindfulness of External Locus

1. Notice Worth-Seeking

During meditation or daily life, notice when you seek worth externally:

• "I need their approval"
• "I must perform well"
• "I am valuable if I achieve this"

Just notice. Do not judge. Just observe.

2. Notice Self-Judgment

Notice when you judge yourself:

• "I am not good enough"
• "I am failing"
• "I am worthless"

Just notice. Do not try to fix. Just observe.

3. Notice the Value Vacuum

Notice when the value vacuum opens—when you suddenly feel worthless:

• After rejection
• After failure
• After criticism

Just notice. Feel it. Observe it. Do not avoid it.

4. Respond with Compassion

After noticing, respond with self-compassion:

"I am seeking worth externally. That is what I learned. I am learning to shift. I am valuable whether I am approved of or not."

The Power of Awareness

You cannot change what you are not aware of. Mindfulness brings locus patterns into awareness. And awareness is the first step to transformation.

Case Example: From Meditation as Achievement to Resting in Being

Kenji's Story

Background: Kenji, 37, discovered meditation and became dedicated. He meditated 2 hours daily, attended retreats, read extensively.

External locus phase: Kenji's worth became tied to meditation. "I am valuable because I am a serious meditator. I am more spiritual than others." He judged himself harshly when he had thoughts during meditation. He felt superior to non-meditators.

Crisis: Kenji experienced burnout. Meditation became burden. He felt like a failure when he could not maintain his practice. His worth collapsed.

Shift: Kenji's teacher said: "You are already whole. Meditation is not achievement. Just sit. Just be." Kenji began practicing without goal, without striving.

Outcome: After 6 months, Kenji's practice transformed. He meditated less but enjoyed it more. He no longer judged himself. He knew he was valuable whether he meditated or not.

Kenji: "I was using meditation to prove I was worthy. I was performing, not resting. Now I meditate because I love it. I am valuable whether I meditate or not. That shift freed me."

Practice: Meditation from Internal Locus

Guidelines for Practice

1. Meditate Without Goal

Do not try to achieve anything. Do not try to stop thoughts. Just sit. Just be.

2. Be Kind to Yourself

When thoughts arise, do not judge. Just notice. Return to breath. Be gentle.

3. Rest in Being

You are valuable simply because you exist. You do not need to achieve anything. Just rest.

4. Observe Locus Patterns

Notice when you seek worth externally. Notice when you judge yourself. Just observe.

5. Practice Irregularly

You do not need to meditate every day to be worthy. Practice when you want to, not out of compulsion.

6. Embody Your Practice

Feel your body. Feel your breath. Be present in your flesh. Do not dissociate.

Affirmations for Practice

• "I am valuable whether I meditate or not"
• "Meditation is not achievement—it is resting in being"
• "Thoughts are not failure—they are part of the practice"
• "I meditate because I love it, not to prove I am worthy"
• "I am already whole. I am just remembering."

What Comes Next

We have explored meditation and mindfulness through the locus lens. The next article examines Karma, Merit, and Worth—how Eastern concepts of conditional worth can be reinterpreted through locus theory, and the theological debate between earning and grace.

This is where we explore the deepest questions: Is worth earned or given? Do we deserve it or receive it?