Eating Disorders Revisited: Body as Worth Container

BY NICOLE LAU

Series: Locus and Body - Worth in Embodiment (Part 4 of 6)

We explored eating disorders briefly in the core series. But they deserve deeper examination—because eating disorders are one of the most severe manifestations of body as external locus.

When the body becomes the container for worth, and control of the body becomes the only way to feel valuable, eating disorders emerge.

This article provides a deeper dive into body-as-external-locus, control and worth fusion, and recovery through reclaiming the body as self.

The Body as Worth Container

What Does This Mean?

When the body becomes a worth container, it is no longer experienced as self. It becomes:

• An object to be controlled - The body is something you must manage, discipline, perfect
• A measure of worth - Your value is determined by your body's size, shape, appearance
• A project to be fixed - The body is always inadequate, always needing improvement
• A battleground - You are at war with your body

This is extreme body external locus. And it creates the conditions for eating disorders.

How This Develops

1. Cultural Messages

"Thin is beautiful. Fat is ugly. Your body determines your worth."

These messages are absorbed from childhood. The body becomes worth.

2. Control as Worth Proof

"If I can control my body, I am worthy. If I cannot, I am worthless."

In contexts where other aspects of life feel uncontrollable, the body becomes the site where control = worth.

3. Perfectionism

"My body must be perfect. Any flaw is failure. Failure is worthlessness."

Perfectionism fuses with body image, creating impossible standards.

4. Trauma and Dissociation

For some, trauma creates dissociation from the body. The body becomes an object, not self. Controlling this object becomes a way to feel safe or worthy.

Eating Disorders as External Locus Manifestations

Anorexia Nervosa: Control as Worth

The Pattern

"I am valuable when I control my body perfectly. I control my body through restriction. The thinner I am, the more control I have, the more worthy I am."

The Locus Structure

1. Worth depends on control
2. Control is demonstrated through thinness
3. Eating is loss of control = worthlessness
4. Restriction is control = worth
5. The thinner, the more worthy

This is control external locus. Worth depends on controlling the body.

Why It Persists

• Temporary worth - Restriction provides brief sense of control and worth
• Fear of loss - Eating feels like losing control and worth
• Identity fusion - "I am anorexic" becomes identity. Recovery feels like losing self.
• Cognitive effects - Starvation affects brain, making rational thought difficult

Bulimia Nervosa: Purging Worthlessness

The Pattern

"I am worthless. I ate (loss of control). I must purge to regain control and worth."

The Locus Structure

1. Worth depends on control
2. Eating is loss of control = worthlessness
3. Purging is attempt to undo the worthlessness
4. Temporary relief, then shame returns
5. The cycle repeats

This is the binge-purge cycle as worth cycle. Eating = worthlessness. Purging = attempt to restore worth.

Why It Persists

• Shame spiral - Binging creates shame. Purging provides temporary relief. But shame returns.
• Addiction-like pattern - The cycle becomes compulsive
• Secrecy - Shame prevents seeking help

Binge Eating Disorder: Eating to Fill the Void

The Pattern

"I feel worthless. I eat to fill the void. But eating makes me feel more worthless. I eat more to cope. The cycle continues."

The Locus Structure

1. Worth void (feeling worthless)
2. Eating as attempt to fill void or numb pain
3. Eating creates shame ("I have no control. I am worthless.")
4. Shame deepens void
5. More eating to cope

This is eating as worth-seeking. Food temporarily fills the void. But the void is worth, not hunger.

Why It Persists

• Emotional regulation - Food becomes primary way to manage emotions
• Shame - Binging creates shame, which triggers more binging
• Weight stigma - Society reinforces worthlessness through fat-shaming

Orthorexia: Purity as Worth

The Pattern

"I am valuable when I eat perfectly 'clean' or 'healthy.' Any deviation is contamination and worthlessness."

The Locus Structure

1. Worth depends on purity
2. Food is categorized as pure/impure, clean/dirty
3. Eating "impure" food = contamination = worthlessness
4. Rigid control of food = purity = worth

This is purity external locus. Worth depends on eating "perfectly."

Why It Persists

• Disguised as health - Orthorexia is often praised as "healthy eating"
• Moral superiority - "I am better than people who eat junk"
• Control and anxiety - Rigid rules provide sense of control

Control, Appearance, and Worth Fusion

Why Control Becomes Worth

In eating disorders, control of the body becomes proof of worth.

1. When Life Feels Uncontrollable

"I cannot control my family, my trauma, my circumstances. But I can control my body. If I control my body, I am worthy."

The body becomes the site where control can be exerted.

2. When Worth Feels Unattainable

"I cannot be worthy through achievement, relationships, or other means. But I can control my body. This is something I can do."

Body control becomes the accessible path to worth.

3. When the Body Is the Only "Acceptable" Worth Site

For women especially, society teaches: "Your worth is in your appearance. Control your appearance and you will be worthy."

This cultural message creates the conditions for eating disorders.

The Illusion of Control

Eating disorders promise control. But they actually create loss of control:

• The disorder controls you (not the other way around)
• Your life revolves around food, weight, body
• You cannot eat normally, socialize freely, or be present
• Your health deteriorates

The very thing that promised control becomes the thing that controls you.

Recovery: Reclaiming the Body as Self

The Core Shift

From: "My body is an object to be controlled. My worth depends on controlling it perfectly."

To: "My body is me. I am valuable in this body. I do not need to control it to be worthy."

This is reclaiming the body as self, not object.

What Recovery Requires

1. Building Internal Worth

"I am valuable whether my body is thin or fat, controlled or not. My worth is inherent."

This is the foundation. Without internal worth, recovery is fragile.

2. Separating Control from Worth

"I do not need to control my body to be worthy. Control is not worth."

3. Separating Appearance from Worth

"My worth is not in my body's size or shape. I am valuable in this body as it is."

4. Healing Relationship with Food

"Food is nourishment, pleasure, and fuel—not worth, control, or morality."

5. Embodiment: Returning to the Body

"I can feel my body. I can be in my body. My body is my home, not my enemy."

This is somatic work—reconnecting with the body as self.

6. Addressing Underlying Issues

Eating disorders are often symptoms of deeper issues:

• Trauma
• Perfectionism
• Control needs
• External locus across life domains

Recovery requires addressing these root causes.

The Challenge of Recovery

Recovery from eating disorders is difficult because:

• Identity fusion - The disorder becomes identity. Letting go feels like losing self.
• Fear of weight gain - In a fatphobic culture, weight gain feels catastrophic
• Loss of control - Giving up the disorder feels like losing the only control you have
• Cultural reinforcement - Society praises thinness and restriction

But recovery is possible. And it is worth it.

Case Example: Recovery Through Locus Shift

Emma's Story

Background: Emma, 26, struggled with anorexia for 8 years. Her worth depended entirely on controlling her body through restriction.

External locus phase: "I am valuable when I am thin and in control. Eating is failure. I must restrict to be worthy." Emma's life revolved around food, weight, and control. She was isolated, exhausted, and medically compromised.

Crisis: Emma was hospitalized. Her therapist said: "Your body is not your worth. You are valuable whether you control it or not." Emma could not believe it.

Recovery work:

• Built internal worth: "I am valuable simply because I exist"
• Separated control from worth: "I do not need to control my body to be worthy"
• Separated appearance from worth: "My worth is not in my size"
• Healed relationship with food: "Food is nourishment, not morality"
• Embodiment work: "I can be in my body. It is my home."
• Addressed perfectionism and trauma

Outcome: After 2 years of intensive work, Emma recovered. She still has difficult days. But she knows her worth is not in her body. She can eat, live, and be present.

Emma: "I believed I was only worthy when I controlled my body perfectly. That belief almost killed me. Now I know: I am valuable in this body, at any size. That truth saved my life."

Practice: Body as Self, Not Object

Reflection Questions

1. Do I experience my body as object or as self?
2. Do I believe my worth depends on controlling my body?
3. Do I use food, weight, or appearance to feel worthy?
4. Can I be in my body without needing to control it?

Recovery Practices

1. Affirm Inherent Worth

"I am valuable in this body, at any size. My worth is inherent."

2. Separate Control from Worth

"I do not need to control my body to be worthy. Control is not worth."

3. Reclaim the Body as Self

"My body is me. It is my home. I can be in my body."

4. Heal Relationship with Food

"Food is nourishment and pleasure. It is not worth or morality."

5. Seek Professional Support

Eating disorder recovery requires professional help—therapy, medical care, nutritional support.

What Comes Next

We have explored eating disorders as body-as-worth-container. The next article examines Chronic Illness, Disability, and Worth—when the body "fails," ableism and external locus, and inherent worth independent of body function.

This is where we explore worth when the body does not function as expected.