Masking and Energy Depletion: The Cost of Hiding

BY NICOLE LAU

Masking is the practice of hiding your autistic traits to appear neurotypical: suppressing stims, forcing eye contact, scripting conversations, performing emotions you don't feel, and constantly monitoring yourself to seem "normal." It's exhausting. And from an energetic perspective, it's not just tiring—it's a massive energy leak that drains your life force, blocks your authentic power, and prevents you from accessing your true magical abilities.

Every moment you spend masking is a moment you're channeling your energy into a false self instead of your true self. You're literally giving your power away to maintain an illusion. This isn't just socially exhausting—it's spiritually depleting.

This article explores masking as an energy drain, explains the spiritual cost of hiding your true self, and provides tools for reclaiming your energy, reducing masking, and accessing your authentic power.

Understanding Masking

What It Is

Masking (also called camouflaging) includes:

• Suppressing stims: Holding still when you need to move, hiding hand-flapping, preventing rocking
• Forcing eye contact: Looking at faces when it's painful or overwhelming
• Scripting social interactions: Rehearsing conversations, copying others' phrases, performing "appropriate" responses
• Hiding special interests: Pretending not to care about what you love
• Performing emotions: Smiling when you don't feel happy, acting excited when you're not
• Suppressing sensory needs: Enduring uncomfortable clothing, loud spaces, bright lights without complaint

Why People Mask

• To avoid bullying, rejection, or discrimination
• To keep jobs or relationships
• To be taken seriously or respected
• Because you've been taught your authentic self is "wrong"
• For safety (masking can be survival strategy)

Masking isn't weakness or vanity. It's often necessary for survival in a neurotypical world. But it comes at a cost.

The Energetic Cost of Masking

1. Constant Energy Drain

Masking requires continuous mental and energetic effort:

• Monitoring your behavior constantly
• Suppressing natural impulses
• Performing behaviors that don't come naturally
• Maintaining a false self

This is like running a program in the background of your computer 24/7—it drains your battery even when you're not actively using it.

2. Disconnection from Authentic Self

When you mask, you're channeling energy into a persona instead of your true self. Over time, you can lose touch with:

• What you actually feel vs. what you're performing
• What you actually want vs. what you think you should want
• Who you actually are vs. who you're pretending to be

This disconnection blocks your intuition, your power, and your magic.

3. Blocked Throat Chakra

Masking often involves suppressing your authentic voice and expression. This creates a throat chakra blockage:

• Difficulty speaking your truth
• Feeling unheard or invisible
• Physical throat issues (tension, frequent illness)
• Creative blocks

4. Depleted Solar Plexus

Your solar plexus (personal power center) becomes depleted when you constantly give your power away to maintain the mask:

• Loss of confidence and self-esteem
• Feeling powerless or controlled by others' expectations
• Difficulty setting boundaries
• Burnout and fatigue

5. Auric Tears and Weakness

The constant effort of masking can create tears or weak spots in your aura:

• Increased vulnerability to others' energy
• Difficulty maintaining energetic boundaries
• Absorbing others' emotions more easily
• Feeling drained after social interaction

Masking as Spiritual Bypassing (In Reverse)

Spiritual bypassing usually means using spirituality to avoid dealing with real problems. But masking is the opposite: using neurotypical performance to avoid dealing with your spiritual truth.

When you mask, you're saying:

• "My authentic self isn't acceptable"
• "I must hide my true nature to be worthy"
• "My power lies in performing, not in being"

This is a spiritual wound. You're rejecting your own soul to gain social acceptance.

The Autistic Burnout Cycle

How It Works

1. Mask to survive: You perform neurotypical behavior to function in the world
2. Energy depletes: Masking drains your life force continuously
3. Burnout hits: You can't mask anymore; everything becomes impossible
4. Retreat and recover: You withdraw to restore energy
5. Return to masking: You go back out and the cycle repeats

The Energetic Reality

Each cycle depletes you more deeply. You're not just tired—you're energetically bankrupt. Your aura is thin, your chakras are blocked, and your life force is barely sustaining you.

This isn't laziness or weakness. This is what happens when you chronically give your power away.

Reclaiming Your Energy from Masking

1. Reduce Masking Where Safe

You can't stop masking everywhere (safety matters), but identify where you CAN be authentic:

• At home alone: Stim freely, wear comfortable clothes, be completely yourself
• With safe people: Friends/family who accept your authentic self
• In autistic spaces: Communities where masking isn't required
• Online: Spaces where you can be anonymous or openly autistic

Every moment of authenticity restores energy.

2. Unmask Gradually

You don't have to go from full mask to no mask overnight. Try:

• One authentic behavior at a time: Allow one stim in public, then add more
• With one person first: Unmask with your safest person, then expand
• In low-stakes situations: Practice authenticity where consequences are minimal

3. Energy Restoration Practices

After masking, actively restore your energy:

• Alone time: Minimum 30 minutes of complete solitude
• Stimming: Allow all suppressed movement and sound
• Sensory regulation: Engage with preferred sensory input (soft textures, favorite sounds, etc.)
• Special interest time: Engage with what brings you joy
• Rest: Sleep, lie down, do nothing

4. Throat Chakra Healing

Heal the damage masking does to your voice and expression:

• Speak your truth: Say what you actually think/feel (in safe spaces)
• Creative expression: Write, draw, create without censoring
• Sound healing: Humming, singing, toning
• Blue crystals: Blue lace agate, aquamarine, turquoise (throat chakra healing)
• Affirmation: "My authentic voice is worthy. I speak my truth."

5. Solar Plexus Reclamation

Restore your personal power:

• Boundary practice: Say no, set limits, protect your energy
• Authentic choice: Choose based on what YOU want, not what you think you should want
• Yellow crystals: Citrine, tiger's eye, yellow jasper (solar plexus activation)
• Affirmation: "I reclaim my power. I am sovereign."

6. Aura Repair

Heal tears and strengthen your energetic field:

• Visualization: Imagine golden light sealing any tears in your aura
• Crystal grid: Create protective grid around your space (black tourmaline, labradorite)
• Energy healing: Reiki, acupuncture, or shamanic healing to repair field
• Grounding: Daily barefoot earth contact to discharge and restore

The Authenticity Ritual

Use this ritual to reconnect with your authentic self after masking:

Setup

• Private, safe space
• Comfortable clothing (or no clothing)
• Crystals: rose quartz (self-acceptance), citrine (authentic power), black tourmaline (protection)
• Optional: mirror

Practice

1. Remove the mask (literally and energetically):
   • If you wore makeup, remove it
   • Change into comfortable clothes
   • Visualize peeling off the neurotypical mask
2. Stim freely:
   • Allow all suppressed movement
   • Make sounds if you want
   • Let your body do what it needs
3. Speak your truth:
   • Say aloud (or write) what you couldn't say while masked
   • "I was pretending to be interested but I was bored."
   • "I wanted to stim but I held still."
   • "I felt overwhelmed but I smiled."
4. Reclaim your energy:
   • Hold citrine or rose quartz
   • Say: "I call back all energy I gave to the mask. I reclaim my power. I am whole."
   • Visualize golden light returning to your body
5. Affirm your authentic self:
   • Look in mirror (if comfortable) or close eyes
   • Say: "This is my true self. I am worthy exactly as I am. My authenticity is my power."
6. Rest:
   • Lie down with crystals on body
   • Let yourself fully relax
   • No performance, no effort, just being

Crystals for Masking Recovery

Energy Restoration

• Carnelian: Restores vitality, motivation, life force
• Citrine: Solar plexus healing, authentic power, joy
• Red jasper: Grounding, physical energy, root chakra

Authenticity and Self-Acceptance

• Rose quartz: Self-love, acceptance of authentic self
• Rhodonite: Emotional healing, self-worth
• Amazonite: Speaking truth, authentic expression

Protection While Unmasking

• Black tourmaline: Protection, grounding, boundary enforcement
• Labradorite: Shields authentic self from judgment
• Obsidian: Truth, shadow work, protection

Throat Chakra Healing

• Blue lace agate: Gentle throat chakra opening, authentic voice
• Aquamarine: Clear communication, speaking truth
• Turquoise: Protection while speaking authentically

When You Can't Stop Masking

Sometimes masking is necessary for safety, employment, or survival. If you can't reduce masking:

Harm Reduction Approach

• Acknowledge the cost: "I'm masking right now. This is draining my energy."
• Plan recovery time: Schedule alone time immediately after masking situations
• Micro-authenticity: Find tiny moments to be real (bathroom break stim, authentic text to friend)
• Energy protection: Shield your aura before masking situations
• Crystals for support: Carry protective stones while masking

Long-Term Strategy

• Work toward situations where you can mask less (remote work, autistic-friendly employers, etc.)
• Build financial safety net to reduce dependence on masking for survival
• Find community where authenticity is valued
• Advocate for acceptance so future autistic people don't have to mask as much

Integration: Your Authentic Self Is Your Power

Masking might help you survive in a neurotypical world, but it's not where your power lives. Your power lives in your authentic self—the stimming, special-interest-loving, sensory-sensitive, pattern-recognizing, deeply-feeling person you are.

Every moment you spend being authentically yourself is a moment you're aligned with your true power. Every moment you mask is a moment you're giving that power away.

You don't owe anyone a neurotypical performance. You don't owe anyone a mask. Your authentic self—exactly as you are—is worthy, powerful, and enough.

Reclaim your energy. Remove the mask (where safe). Be who you actually are.

Your authenticity is your magic.

Next in this series: Literal Thinking and Symbolic Systems: Tarot for Autistic Minds