Why "I'm Honoring the Culture" Isn't Enough

BY NICOLE LAU

"But I'm honoring the culture!" This is one of the most common defenses when someone is called out for cultural appropriation. They wear a Native American headdress to a music festival and claim they're honoring indigenous peoples. They practice closed ceremonies and insist they're showing respect. They appropriate sacred symbols and argue their intention is pure. But here's the truth: claiming to honor a culture doesn't make your actions honorable. Good intentions don't erase harmful impact.

This article addresses the gap between intention and impact, explaining why "I'm honoring the culture" is not a valid defense for appropriation. It explores what actual honor looks like, why impact matters more than intention, and what's required beyond claiming respect. Because real honor isn't about how you feel—it's about whether the culture you claim to honor actually feels honored.

The Intention vs. Impact Gap

Why Good Intentions Aren't Enough

The problem:

• You can have good intentions and still cause harm
• Your feelings about your actions don't determine their impact
• The culture being "honored" gets to decide if they feel honored
• Impact matters more than intention

Understanding the Gap

Your intention:

• "I think this is beautiful"
• "I want to show respect"
• "I'm honoring the culture"
• "I mean well"

The impact:

• Sacred items used inappropriately
• Cultural boundaries violated
• Stereotypes perpetuated
• Communities feel disrespected
• Harm is caused regardless of intention

The truth: Your intention to honor doesn't override the impact of dishonor.

What "Honoring" Actually Requires

Real Honor vs. Claimed Honor

Claimed honor (what appropriators say):

• "I love this culture"
• "I'm showing respect"
• "I'm honoring their traditions"
• "My heart is in the right place"

Real honor (what's actually required):

• Listening when the culture says "no"
• Respecting boundaries and closed practices
• Supporting people from that culture
• Giving credit and attribution
• Not profiting from their traditions
• Amplifying their voices, not speaking over them
• Accepting accountability when you cause harm

The Key Difference

Claimed honor is about your feelings. Real honor is about your actions and their impact.

Why "I'm Honoring" Fails as Defense

The Problems with This Justification

1. It centers you, not the culture

• "I'm honoring" focuses on your intention
• Real honor focuses on the culture's experience
• You're making it about your feelings, not their reality
• Honor should center those being honored, not the one claiming to honor

2. It ignores the culture's voice

• If people from that culture say they don't feel honored, believe them
• You don't get to decide if your actions are honoring
• The culture being "honored" gets to define what honor looks like
• Claiming honor while ignoring their "no" is the opposite of honor

3. It conflates appreciation with appropriation

• You can appreciate without appropriating
• Appreciation respects boundaries; appropriation violates them
• "I'm honoring" is often used to justify taking what's not yours
• Real appreciation doesn't require access to everything

4. It's often used to avoid accountability

• "I'm honoring" becomes shield against criticism
• Prevents you from examining your actions
• Deflects from the harm caused
• Allows you to continue harmful behavior

5. It assumes your judgment over theirs

• You decide your actions are honoring
• You override the culture's assessment
• You prioritize your interpretation over their experience
• This is the opposite of respect

Real-World Examples

When "Honoring" Is Actually Harming

Example 1: Wearing Native American headdresses

• Claimed honor: "I'm honoring Native American culture by wearing this beautiful headdress"
• Actual impact: Sacred item earned through specific deeds worn as costume, Native people feel disrespected and violated
• Real honor would be: Not wearing it, learning about its significance, supporting Native artists and causes

Example 2: Non-Native smudging with white sage

• Claimed honor: "I'm honoring indigenous wisdom by smudging"
• Actual impact: Closed practice appropriated, white sage overharvested, Indigenous people told their practice is now "universal"
• Real honor would be: Using open alternatives (rosemary, garden sage), supporting Indigenous practitioners, respecting that it's not for you

Example 3: Non-initiated practicing Vodou

• Claimed honor: "I'm honoring the spirits and the tradition"
• Actual impact: Closed religion violated, spirits disrespected by improper practice, initiated practitioners' boundaries ignored
• Real honor would be: Respecting it's closed, learning about it without practicing, supporting initiated practitioners

Example 4: Yoga studios stripping Hindu elements

• Claimed honor: "We're honoring the ancient practice of yoga"
• Actual impact: Hindu roots erased, reduced to exercise, South Asian teachers marginalized, spiritual depth lost
• Real honor would be: Acknowledging Hindu origins, teaching the philosophy not just asana, supporting South Asian teachers, not whitewashing

What Real Honor Looks Like

Actions That Actually Honor

1. Listening and respecting boundaries

• When told something is closed, you respect that
• You don't argue or try to justify access
• You honor "no" as a complete sentence
• You prioritize their boundaries over your desires

2. Supporting, not extracting

• You support practitioners from that culture
• You amplify their voices
• You give back financially when possible
• You're in relationship, not just taking

3. Giving credit and attribution

• You acknowledge where practices come from
• You don't claim ancient lineage you don't have
• You're transparent about what you're practicing
• You educate others about origins

4. Not profiting from their traditions

• You don't make money from practices that aren't yours
• If you do benefit, you give back substantially
• You ensure originators benefit first
• You don't exploit for personal gain

5. Accepting accountability

• When told you've caused harm, you listen
• You don't get defensive
• You apologize and change behavior
• You prioritize impact over intention

6. Doing the work

• You educate yourself properly
• You learn from people within the culture
• You understand context and history
• You engage with depth, not superficially

The Accountability Questions

Ask Yourself

1. Do people from this culture feel honored by my actions?

• Not: Do I feel like I'm honoring them?
• But: Do they actually feel honored?
• Have you asked? Have you listened?

2. Am I respecting their boundaries?

• Or am I violating what they've said is off-limits?
• Am I honoring their "no"?
• Or prioritizing my access?

3. Am I supporting them?

• Or just taking from them?
• Am I giving back?
• Am I in genuine relationship?

4. Am I listening to their voices?

• Or speaking over them?
• Am I amplifying them?
• Or centering myself?

5. Would I do this if they were watching?

• If people from that culture saw my actions, would they approve?
• Or would I feel ashamed?
• Am I hiding what I'm doing?

6. Am I accepting accountability?

• When told I'm causing harm, do I listen?
• Or do I get defensive and claim good intentions?
• Do I change my behavior?

Moving from Claimed Honor to Real Honor

The Shift Required

From:

• "I'm honoring the culture" (your feeling)
• "My intention is good" (your perspective)
• "I love this tradition" (your desire)
• "I mean well" (your defense)

To:

• "Does this culture feel honored?" (their experience)
• "What is the impact of my actions?" (reality check)
• "Am I respecting their boundaries?" (their needs)
• "How can I support them?" (reciprocity)

The Practice

1. Listen more than you speak
2. Respect boundaries without argument
3. Support practitioners from that culture
4. Give credit and attribution
5. Accept accountability for impact
6. Prioritize their voices over your feelings

Crystals for Accountability and Self-Awareness

Truth and Reality

• Obsidian: Truth-seeing, facing reality, seeing your shadow
• Smoky quartz: Grounding in truth, transmuting defensiveness
• Black tourmaline: Protection from self-deception, strong boundaries

Humility and Listening

• Amethyst: Spiritual humility, listening to others
• Sodalite: Truth, honest self-assessment
• Hematite: Grounding, staying humble

How to Use

• Hold when examining your actions
• Meditate with to see truth about your impact
• Use to stay grounded in accountability
• Keep on altar as reminder to prioritize impact over intention

Integration: Impact Over Intention

"I'm honoring the culture" is not enough. It's not a defense. It's not a justification. It's not a shield against accountability. Real honor requires listening, respecting boundaries, supporting, giving credit, and accepting when you've caused harm—regardless of your intentions.

Your feelings about your actions don't determine their impact. The culture you claim to honor gets to decide if they feel honored. And if they say no, if they say you're causing harm, if they say stop—then real honor means listening.

Good intentions don't erase harmful impact. Claiming to honor doesn't make your actions honorable. Real honor is measured by the experience of those being honored, not the feelings of the one claiming to honor.

Stop centering your intentions. Start centering their experience. That's what real honor looks like.

Next in this series: Smudging and White Sage: The Indigenous Perspective